Actress Zoe Saldaña best summed up what self-love looks like when she said, “I know who I am. I love who I am. I like what I do, and I like how I do it. And I like my mistakes. And I like the way I learn, and I like the pace with which I learn my mistakes. I don’t want to be anybody else but me.”
In a culture addicted and attached to continuous validation and comparison, Saldaña’s words are abnormal to the average person. How many of us can relate to Saldaña’s genuine self-acceptance and love?
Self-love can be taken apart to reach the root of its meaning and purpose. We’re all familiar with some definition of the word “love.” My personal favorite comes from traditional Christian scriptures in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.”
When we direct this sort of love towards ourselves, we’re essentially extending unconditional acceptance, patience, and kindness to every part of our being. That means the parts we view as favorable and the parts we’d rather hide.
Liking who we are, how we do things, how we recover from mistakes, how we learn, and, ultimately, how we show up in the world, should be a common reality for everyone.
So how can we reach the level of Saldaña’s self-love and acceptance? Here are a few steps you can take today:
Make the effort to know yourself
We’re taught how to invest time and energy into others in an effort to learn everything about them down to their favorite color to their deepest fears, but we neglect to do the same for ourselves.
Purchasing a notebook or creating a Google document and answering journal prompts is an easy way to discover new things about yourself. You can take personality quizzes such as The Enneagram assessment alongside journal prompts.
Knowledge is power. Knowing more about yourself only strengthens the relationship you have with yourself and those around you.
Reduce the comparison
This is easier said than done, but the more you take time to know yourself and improve in areas that are holding you back from self-acceptance and love, the more comparison loses its appeal because you’re too focused on your growth and journey.
Reducing or limiting time spent on following other people’s lives on social media will help with this. Instead of investing time wishing for somebody else’s life, spend it on creating the life you desire.
Affirm yourself daily
Affirmations are powerful tools to reprogram your mind because you’re feeding it positive, self-affirming truths.
Affirmations usually begin with “I am…” and follow words or phrases that speak to you.
Click here for a list of affirmations to get you started.
Extending unconditional love and acceptance to yourself doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a daily process that requires intentional attention and effort. Overtime, however, you will see a drastic improvement on how you view and treat yourself and those around you.
One day you’ll be able to say with confidence: I love who I am, and I don’t want to be anybody else.
For more on self-love, wellness, and self-growth, click here. To stay connected, follow @aaliyahinspired on Instagram and Tiktok.
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