I remember my first day of kindergarten. I walked up to the heavily decorated door, hand-in-hand with my mom. She bent down, squeezed me tight, and said something along the lines of, “have a great day, love you.” Now, I don’t know how my mom expected me to react to my first day of kindergarten because for many kids it can be daunting and overwhelming. That day, kids around me stood in puddles of tears as their parents tried to escape their death grips. As for me though, I had no tears at all. My little 3-year-old self was excited about this new change. She was thrilled at the opportunity to learn and be around her peers. She wasn’t attached to mommy and daddy, her safe spaces, her comforts, to the point that it hindered her desire to explore her budding independence. So at that moment, as my mom stood up, I smiled and walked through the door and didn’t look back. I didn’t know it at the time, but my confidence, bravery, and willingness, was a glimpse into the person I would become years later: a woman who dives head deep into the unknown; a woman who would go on to buy a one-way ticket to a foreign country and not look back.
A one-way ticket is risky business, but, at the same time, it can be liberating. For most of us, we grew up with a blueprint as to how we should be, how we should live, what we should desire. This blueprint has evolved a little over time, but it still has its core: grow up, go to school, get a good paying job, climb the corporate ladder, find love, marry, have kids. Then, you live for work, dedicate yourself to your family, make lots of money until you can retire, then die. There’s not much wiggle room in this blueprint, not much room for any novelty because why color outside the lines, shake things up, when the blueprint has “worked” for so many people? This blueprint promises a happy, fulfilled life. However, I think there exists two kinds of people in this world. One is convinced this blueprint is the only way and the other believes that you can indeed color outside the lines.
This was a foreign feeling; I was breaking away from the blueprint. I was willingly facing the unknown, forcing myself to get comfortable with not knowing what was next. Although the feeling was uncomfortable, it unveiled new paths I could take in my life.
When I bought my first one way ticket, it was like an out-of-body experience. Up to that point, I’ve followed the blueprint handed to me. I just completed the college stage of the blueprint and the next natural step was to get a 9-to-5 job and work hard to make money and acquire possessions. Instead, I was packing my bags and heading to Hawaii with no set return. This was a foreign feeling; I was breaking away from the blueprint. I was willingly facing the unknown, forcing myself to get comfortable with not knowing what was next. Although the feeling was uncomfortable, it unveiled new paths I could take in my life. It’s essential to recognize that there are paths beyond the blueprint handed to us because one of the most common regrets I hear from those older than me is that they wish that they did more, especially in their youth. They wish they would’ve traveled more. Took more risks. Made more time for the things that they were passionate about. Spent more time with loved ones. Underlying this regret is the wish that they didn’t allow the fear of the unknown, of things going wrong, to deter them from uncomfortable experiences. When asked what freedom meant to her, the late Nina Simone responded with two words: no fear. To live life with no fear is freedom. But, to obtain this freedom requires sacrifice. You have to sacrifice everything you’ve been taught about how to live. You have to erase it all, start over, and rewrite what a fulfilling life would be, feel, and look to you. For me, this sacrifice is worth it. I’d be damned if I reach a point in my life and find myself uttering the same exact regrets from my predecessors.
Twenty-one years later, I found myself releasing myself from my mom’s embrace at the airport. Though a few tears were shed this time, independence and the desire for freedom were calling on the other side of the TSA. The call was stronger than the temptation to stay in the world I grew up in, the world I’ve known all my life. With a one-way ticket in hand, I waved goodbye and boarded a flight to Spain. I don’t have any plans beyond seeing where the wind takes me. To surrender and flow isn’t in the blueprint, but I think it’s time that we make some adjustments. This isn’t to suggest apathy and laziness. As a believer in manifestation (i.e. creating the life you want), I believe that it takes action. But, I also believe it takes a level of trust, of release. That is to say, you have to allow for a bit of spontaneity, some room for life to surprise you. The blueprint requires you to be attached to outcomes, but daring to step outside of the blueprint requires you to become acquainted with the unknown.
A quote that has stuck with me since 2022 (and one that has had a profound, tangible impact on my life) was written and posted to Instagram by Brandi Freely, and it goes like this: “May you be brave enough to create the life you really want.” And it is my hope that you, dear reader, do the same — be brave enough to create the life you really want.
For similar blog posts, click here.
To stay inspired, follow @ aaliyahinspired on Instagram and Youtube.
Leave a Reply