The older I become, the more I am becoming protective with what I choose to share about my life on the internet and the more I crave anonymity. In a digital age where sharing every moment of your everyday life has become second nature, doing anything but is seen as abnormal. Especially for those who, like me, grew up during the digital and social media boom, we learned early on how to put our lives on display for others’ consumption and entertainment.
I now concern myself with aesthetics and how others will perceive me based on the photos and videos I post while poring over how many likes and followers I can accumulate. The fun and innocence of it all has been stripped away and replaced with an egotistical need for validation.
Initially, sharing our lives on the internet was simply a way to stay connected with friends and family. Facebook was the first popular platform to do this. I remember when I first made my Facebook account in middle school, and the relationship I developed with it. It was innocent and free from pressure to self-promote and curate photos in a way to make my life appear flawless. The same can’t be said for the relationship I have now with social media, however. I now concern myself with aesthetics and how others will perceive me based on the photos and videos I post while poring over how many likes and followers I can accumulate. The fun and innocence of it all has been stripped away and replaced with an egotistical need for validation.
This isn’t to speak to everyone’s experience and intentions when it comes to maintaining a social media presence. Some people genuinely enjoy the process of curating a feed and openly sharing their lives with friends, family, and/or strangers while successfully navigating the pitfalls of social media like doom scrolling, incessantly comparing themselves to others, or becoming anxious over how a post will perform. But because I’ve been an active participant since around the age of 14, I’ve reached a point in my young adulthood where I’ve grown tired of the expectations and standards of maintaining a social media presence. Now, more than ever, I just want to experience what it’s like to do the opposite.
As someone who values their personal evolution and aspires to live a life authentic to them, stepping away from social media is the best decision that’s in alignment with that value and aspiration. Especially given that most of my developmental years were dominated by the act of curating and promoting a polished version of myself, it feels right to see what happens when I remove that element from my life. Who am I if I’m not seeking others’ approval? What am I naturally drawn to do in my free time when I know I’m not going to post my whereabouts online? Who do I think to call or text when I want to socialize? Who in my life reaches out to me when they don’t have the crutch of social media? What do I truly want in life without being shown what I should aspire to on social media?
Answers to questions like these can be found whether you’re active on social media or not. However, the process can be accelerated and made easier when social media is out of the picture because space opens up time wise, attention wise, and energy wise when you remove the very thing that occupies most of it.
Seattle native and rapper Macklemore has a song that perfectly encapsulates the reflections I have on social media. In “LOST/SUN COMES UP,” Macklemore paints a devastating yet accurate picture of the unhealthy culture social media has bred and the ironic role it has in disconnecting us from ourselves and the essence of life.
“What kind of life is this?” Macklemore asks. A life where we’re more concerned with our public image rather than who we are when no one is watching; a life where we just stare at memes, laugh, and endlessly scroll and refresh our timelines despite the negative repercussions. I asked myself the same question. Eventually, this inquiry led me to realizing that I have a choice. I have the choice to… stop.
So, for the time being, that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m befriending my anonymity for probably the first time in my life since joining social media as a pre-teen and being selective with what I choose to share on the internet. It will be a challenge and a new feeling, but the reward will be well worth it.
If you enjoyed this blog post, let me know in the comments! Have you thought about taking a step back from social media that’s longer than a typical social media detox?
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