How I Overcame my Fear of Failure.

As long as I can remember, whenever someone asked me what my biggest fear was in life, I would say “fear of failure”. 

I was a 13-year-old saying she was afraid of failure and for years, I stuck to that answer not knowing there were some deep rooted issues hidden behind that response. 

It wasn’t until the age of 18 that I started to address this fear through the help of journaling, self-development books and time. 

So why was I afraid of failure? 

Simple. I was a people-pleaser and I constructed this image of what it meant to be a “perfect” daughter, friend, sister, student, ect. through society’s expectations and ideals of success. This explains some of the “Type-A” personality traits I developed growing up. I was meticulous about every choice I made in order to craft a perfect image of myself. 

Now, I can safely say this fear no longer stifles me. It took some hard work and adjustment to get where I am today and I wanted to share steps that helped me overcome my fear of failure. 

Perspective shift

With a lot of things in life, we have a skewed perspective.

When it came to failure, I was conditioned to believe that it was bad. When something is deemed “bad”, you naturally try to avoid it at all costs. This hurt me in many ways because I missed out on a lot of opportunities and experiences in order to avoid the possibility of failure. 

So I worked to change my perspective. Instead of viewing failure as a bad thing, I view it as a necessary part of my growth. 

Detachment 

I used to find comfort in roles and titles. 

Roles and titles are often clear and defined with general characteristics needed to be sufficient in said role, so I used them as my safety net. For example, a perfect student was already defined by society, so I adjusted to be just that. 

The work to recover from my fear lied in the act of detaching from these safety nets. I had to remove myself from the person I thought I needed to play to protect me from failure. 

What did I want? 

When I was younger, I remember being carefree (like every kid is), but the older I got the more that spirit got suppressed. From my point of view, this happened due to other people projecting their limiting beliefs onto me and society’s soul-crushing rubric to living . 

I often hear people say that your 20s is a time to unlearn everything that you were conditioned to believe while growing up, and I’m starting to find truth in that. 

The day I asked myself what I wanted out of life and who I wanted to be, everything changed. If I no longer had an image to live up to, then what was I afraid of failing at? 

You can’t fail at being yourself. 

After shifting my perspective from viewing failure as bad to a necessity, detaching from the roles I thought were needed to be successful, and re-discovering what I wanted out of life, I came to the realization that there is no failure behind being myself. 

If I make it a goal to be authentically me, then there’s no image to live up to, there’s only an image to just be (and it takes less effort which is a bonus). 


I am by no means perfect and I still have fears I am working through, but by working through my biggest fear of all — failure — I discovered I can overcome anything and so can you. 

If this post inspired you in any way, don’t hesitate to connect via instagram or in the comments. I would love to hear from you!

2 thoughts on “How I Overcame my Fear of Failure.”

  1. Absolutely loved this! ‘You can’t fail at being yourself’ is a sentiment which we could all learn from. To be authentically ourselves is the truest goal, and one which I’m sure would make the world a happier place.

    Like

    1. Thank you for reading 🙂 Fear of failure was definitely something I wanted to overcome and I’m happy the realizations from my journey resonated with you! To be authentically ourselves, as you said, is definitely the goal we should all be shooting for.

      Liked by 1 person

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